Go Suck On A Vegetable
by FlamingElf
Summary: Just another crazy story from the unknown depths of my demented mind.
1. Go Suck On A Vegetable

Disclaimer: I don't own Bunnicula, whoever wrote it does (duh). J.K. owns all H.P. characters (lucky her). Remus owns me (Leslie) *sigh, and I own Kayli. She's my slave. Mwhehehehehehehehehe!(j/k Kayli owns herself, I guess…or does she?)

**A/N: Just another crazy story from the unknown depths of my demented mind. :P**

Go Suck On a Vegetable 

          "Come'ere, boy! Come on! Get the treat!" Remus Lupin bounded off his four poster bed, across the room, and lept up to grab the steak out of Sirius Black's raised hand. At the last minute Sirius pulled it out of his way, and Remus landed on the floor, empty mouthed and eyes glowing gold. He let out a long, loud, spine-tingling howl and lept, not at the steak, but at Sirius' throat just as James Potter walked in. 

          "Moony!" James yelled, and he ran over and grabbed Remus out of the air right before he got to Sirius' throat. Quickly he grabbed the meat out of Sirius' hand and tossed it to Remus. "What were you thinking?!" he exclaimed, "That's the fourth time this week!"

          "Sorry. I was just trying to train him. You know, so he wouldn't have to go away all alone every month." Sirius replied.

          "Oh, yeah! Like a tame werewolf?! Sure." His tone softened when he saw Sirius' face fall. "Listen, Sirius, how do you think Moony would feel if he ripped your throat out? Besides, the animagus potion will be ready next year, and we'll be able to be with him on full moons."

          "Yeah, I guess." Sirius relented

          Meanwhile, Remus had regained power over his body from Wolfie and had been listening to them, confused at first, but when he tasted the meat in his mouth, he realized what had happened. "Sirius! Not again! I don't feel like almost violently and painfully ripping one of my best friends apart and eating him. Besides, I'm a vegetarian on Wednesdays."

          "Okay, sorry, but you just gave me a great idea…" Sirius said with a mischievous grin. He ran down the stairs and out through the portrait drumming his fingertips together (A/N: Like Mr. Burns on the Simpsons when he says, "Excellent…") and chuckling a deep, evil chuckle. Chuckling a deep, evil chuckle that can only be one chuckle that only one chuckler chuckles. A chuckle that means the chuckler is up to know good. Remus and James followed shortly behind him and found his in the last place you would think you'd find Sirius…THE LIBRARY!

          "What in God's name are you doing here?!" James exclaimed.

          "Sirius, I'm surprised and proud, and somewhat afraid for my life." Remus said with a grin, "What book you got there?"

          "Bunnicula! I remember reading it in muggle school before I came here, and you being a vegetarian reminded me of it for some reason…"

          "What's it about?" asked James.

          In one breath, Sirius said, "It's about a cute little bunny with red eyes, and a cat, and a dog, and the bunny's a vampire but not a people vampire, and it sucks all the juice out of vegetables, and it's name is Bunnicula, and, and…" Sirius stopped for a breath.

          "Whoa, calm down! That's all very interesting and all, but what does it have to do with us?"

          Remus had a very worried look on his face, and he began to think, 'That's crazy. I know that look, and whatever prank he's forming that has to do with that book can't be good…I'm guessing I'm gonna be the one doing it, too…'

          "…oh, and Moony? You're gonna be the one who has to do it." Sirius

          Remus thought, 'I guessed right.' Then answered, "Two questions: do what, and why me?"

          "Moony! Weren't you listening?"

          "Nope. Too busy worrying."

          "About what?"

          "You."

          "Oh, okay. To answer your questions: suck the juice out of all the vegetables in the school, and because you're a vegetarian today, and James and I hate vegetables."

          A snort was all the response they got from Remus.

          "Does that mean you'll do it?"

          grunt

          "Great! Thanks, Moony!"

A/N: Will this plan work? Will they get caught and get yet another detention? And what kind of bunny sucks the juice out of vegetables? Stay tuned to find out!


	2. When Squirrels Laugh

Disclaimer: sigh third posting and I'm already tired of this. Basically, any names of anything that you recognize, I don't own it. Big surprise, huh? Oh, and before I forget, Leslie and Kayli are actually in this chapter! Remmie and the voices in my head are at war right now to see who owns me (Leslie), and the color green owns Kayli.

**A/N: Here goes chapter 2.  Sorry it took so long. I went to West Virginia to go fly fishing with my family. That means a week with my annoying brother, overly-worried and embarrassing mom, and dad (whom I actually have no complaints about. Wow!), unseparated… together …for an entire week…Lord, help me. At least my dog gets a break from this crazy family. Lucky bitch (sorry, but she is, you know.) Oh, and Peter is dead. He died in my first fic, 'Remus' Happy Corner'. I believe the exact words were, 'Peter is dieing a slow and painful death somewhere at the bottom of a ditch in the middle of the Forbidden Forest with a stick up his ass.' I dislike him greatly…and now, for the moment you've all been waiting for…**

Go Suck On a Vegetable 

          Later that evening a full, sick Remmie and two happy boys (one James and one Sirius) entered the Gryffindor tower through the fat lady. 

          "That was great! Wait 'til we see everyone's faces at dinner tonight!" Sirius was all but bouncing up and down and giggling in a very high-pitched voice.

          "I know!" James exclaimed, "Moony?"

          Remus was already running up the stairs to regurgitate all the juice he just sucked.

          "Oops…" said Sirius, wincing at the sound of Remus being sick, "I didn't think it'd make him sick." They both went upstairs, "Sorry, Moony, but it'll all be worth it tonight when we see everyone's faces!"

          "Uuggmmnn…" vomit "I don't think I'm coming. Those vegetables were spiked or something…"

          "Who would spike the vegetables?" James wondered aloud.

          "Bwhehehoohahaha!" came the crazed maniac laugh of Leslie, a Gryffindor girl their age and Remus' girlfriend, followed by the different, but just as demented, laugh of Kayli, also a Gryffindor girl their age who was Leslie's best friend and partner in crime. She was Sirius' girlfriend, and together, they were just as bad as the Marauders and came up with more…colorful…pranks.

          "Nevermind. Forget I asked." Finished James.

          "Hey! Why didn't I think of that?" Sirius whined. James and Remus both rolled their eyes and sighed at the same time.

          "Hey!" They both said, "How…?"

          "Stop! You're scaring me!" Sirius.

          "Sorry." James and Remus. They looked at each other and stopped talking so they wouldn't say anything together anymore, but not for long because James can't not talk, and if everyone else is silent, Sirius just talks more.

          "Anyway," said Sirius eyeing Remus and James, "It's time for dinner, and I'm hungry!"

          "You coming, Rem?" asked James.

          "No, I already had my fill."

          "Okay."

*~*

          Later, after dinner(of which Leslie stayed with Remus because she loves him so much).

          "Aha! Did you see McGonnagall's face?? That was great!" Sirius went on explaining what she looked like to Leslie and Remus.

          "Sorry you couldn't be there, Moony." James said, "We couldn't-a done it without you. I know I wouldn't suck veggie juice, and I'm willing to bet Sirius wouldn't."

          "Oh, well. I was just fine." Remus gave Leslie a secret grin and blushed, and Leslie blushed and grinned right back.

          Suddenly, a large rodent with grey, fluffy fur (also known as a squirrel) jumped in the window that was open to let the nice breeze through.

          "Ahhhhh! Evil…grey…munk-munk! Musy…destroy!" Sirius said in a trance.

          "Snap out of it, Sirius!" James yelled as he slapped Sirius across the face.

          "Owies!" Sirius slapped James right back.

          James slapped Sirius and ran away, "It was for your own good!"

          "Sure, and a little whoop-ass will do you good!" and Sirius chased James around. Havoc ensued until Sirius remembered the squirrel. "Little devils…" he muttered. "When I become an animagus, I wanna be something that can kill those little buggers." (A/N: Leslie, Kayli, and everyone except the three boys have left the room already.)

          "Dog?" Rmus suggested, "I sometimes kill squirrels as a wolf. They get in the shack and laugh at me." James gave him a weird look but decided to ignore that last strange comment.

          "Why don't I just be a wolf?" Sirius asked.

          "Nu-uh. Not a good idea. I'm very territorial. I'm not even sure a dog would work, but definitely not a wolf."

          "Okay, then. What about a grim? I could scare people!"

          "Padfoot, you already scare people by being you." James pointed out.

          Sirius stuck his tongue out at James and started chasing him around the room.

          "Moony! A little help here?" shouted James.

          "Sorry, not my problem." Answered Remus as he crawled into his bed and fell asleep.

**A/N: So, didja like it? That's probably the end of this story, but don't fret! I've got more a-comin'! Look foreward to one on the inside story of Lucious Malfoy. :P Thanks to Iggie (whose been a great help), Ega, and PadfootPrankster13 who have already reviewed the first chapter. Reviews keep me alive! You want more funny? Review! ** 


End file.
